I whole heartedly agree with helping and loving others. We actually cause more damage in the process. If we put ourselves in danger by helping someone, we are no use to anyone. This concept is called “Save the Savior”. In my second book, The Love We Found, my main character wants to help someone with a life-threatening illness, only to get herself in trouble too. “You owe yourself the love that you freely give to other people.” When we’re in a better place, we can be a better wife, mother, husband, co-worker or friend. Putting yourself first gives you the energy, peace of mind and positive outlook to be more present with others and be there for them. It’s recognizing the importance of your feelings and wellbeing. Make self-care a priority-put yourself first for a change.Give yourself permission-Boundaries aren’t just a sign of a healthy relationship it’s a sign of self-respect.You’ll know the toxic relationship by who takes these things personally. Be direct-Be direct with how you want to be treated, what makes you tic, and what you won’t stand for.When someone is imposing their expectations on us, we will feel guilty and resentment sets in. When someone makes you feel uncomfortable, that’s a cue that they’re violating a boundary. Tune into your feelings-There are two feelings that come from letting go of boundaries (discomfort and resentment).What do you tolerate and accept? What makes you feel uncomfortable and stressed? That will help list your limits. Name your limits-You can’t set boundaries if you don’t know what you stand for.Here are ways to set boundaries in your own life: They want to help so much that they forget that they need help too. One of the main things people struggle with giving so much, is that there are no boundaries set with the people around them. If we do not take the time to fill our cups, we will have nothing to pour out. “Self-care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you.” In life, if we can’t take care of ourselves first, we will not be able to help the people next to us. We are instructed to place the mask over ourselves before helping our loved ones. When an airplane experiences distress in an emergency, oxygen masks pop out from the ceiling to assist breathing. One of my favorite analogies is the oxygen mask on the airplane. They are an empty shell and have lost their true purpose and spark who made them who they once were in the first place. Their other loved ones who need it the most have been put to the wayside. They give and give till they are empty themselves with nothing left to give anymore. I’ve watched close loved ones literally love their loved ones to death. But, do we love ourselves? Do we love ourselves as passionately as we love those around us? We are asked, in a spiritual point of view, to love our neighbors, to love our parents. Self-care has recently become such a popular topic and I’ve recently embraced it full force these past couple years. You are worth the time it takes to slow down, be still, and rest.”
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